Sheabutterbaby

 Be bold. I recently (two hours ago) just ended a relationship. While he did do things that led to the ending of the relationship, I am coming to terms with the fact that it was not all on him. I grew up very sparse on love, thus even maintaining this relationship for as long as I have is a huge achievement. However this scarcity of love set the tone for my relationship or past relationship. Ha. I just now realize in the beginning months of our relationship, I was very unsure in my love for him. At this point I had learned to love myself and do it thorough, I was a bad bitc$ in the best way. I was so uncomfortable with the idea of loving him that maybe I did put those energetic waves into our relationship. Just to be clear, this isn’t an excuse on his behalf. I don’t know if he was ever a good partner. However, is it growth on my end knowing that it was not all his fault. I didn’t deserve what he did to me, but I did after all play a role. I am writing this after I have ended a rel...

I created this blog to help facilitate more organized thoughts. I chose to do it this way because I thought it would be fun to also share my thoughts with the world (although I’m fully aware that this may not reach many). I was reading a book called Americanah and the main character, Ifmelu created a blog that details experiences in her life. I thought it an amazing outlet to express the events in one’s life. I remember as a child I would create stories from pure imagination. I realize now as I am trying to think of a fun Halloween costume, how magical it was to just have an idea and make it come to life. As an adult it is easy to get caught in the details and planning of things, however I want to get back to the magic where I can just believe.